For those who have not read Félix Fénéon's Novels in Three Lines, it is certainly worth a look if you want to see into the twisted/brilliant mind of a French anarchist and read his versions of "true stories of murder, mayhem, and everyday life." For a class, we were instructed to write a couple of shorts influenced by the ones that Fénéon had written and published anonymously in a newspaper. It's sort of amazing how ridiculous a great deal of these news blurbs (for lack of a better description) were; the pieces I wrote are honestly not that much crazier than the real ones. Okay, granted, mine stretch the limits of reality just a bit, but there are more than a few in the book that are difficult to grasp on a similar level. Félix Fénéon's flippant, calculated humor is what makes the horrible so popcorn-friendly.
Here's the first of mine...I'll post the second one later this week.
Señor Miguel Montoya Márquez, of Yreka, was vacationing in Bangladesh when he was bitten and molested by a wanton rhesus monkey. Though Márquez showed no immediate symptoms, he eventually developed the dreaded Banana Fetish, soon abandoning his wife and children.
In times of personal crisis, always blame the simian.