Thursday, June 14, 2012

Untitled Short #4

Okay, so here's the other "true" short I promised to post. This one's arguably a little wackier than the first one.

In some Georgian cultures, shoving hash browns down one's pants makes for a more proficient soccer player. Greasy, chafing crotch burns are known for assisting in focusing on goals.
One hash brown=$1.06
One bail release=$1,500

The culprit's been banned from twelve UGA eateries for a year.

A masked blessing, perhaps?

Monday, June 11, 2012

New Short Published on Lingustic Erosion

Hey everyone,
My very short piece, titled "Bleak Iridescent Shark," has been posted on Linguistic Erosion. It's a tad bit Lovecraft-y. Go check it out here:

Saturday, June 9, 2012

Untitled Short #3

This is one of two very short pieces inspired by bizarre, yet true news items. I'll post the other one in the next week or so.

Stealing candy from a baby was breezy—he figured there’s probably no chore in pilfering the brat's savings.

Two important questions:

A butcher gutting a piggy bank—unconscious desire?

If Baby Mama only has $60, a cellphone, and some condoms worth burglarizing, where the hell is a two-year-old acquiring $400?

Monday, June 4, 2012

Comments Disclaimer

Okay, so for some reason my settings were not allowing comments for anyone, even though I definitely had them set that way when I originally started the blog. So now I've fixed it. If anyone has been just dying to leave me a comment, now's your chance! I'd appreciate some thoughts on any of the posts I've made. Thanks, jerkies.

Friday, June 1, 2012

Satan Scare in San Diego

Here is a haiku series (sort of) about a prank I began, but never followed through with, when I was a wee lad. It was a brilliant plan if I do say so myself, but I was probably distracted by skateboarding, girls, or going to shows. Oh well...

an experiment in the power, influence, and mystery of slogans and cultism

harvest crusade slaves
bumper sticker theism
time to taste my jape

create my label
spread amongst the gullible
fears of deviled youth

upside down crosses
pointed star of five

peel the layers back
sticker's truth will still remain
religion may fib

wasn't authentic
but perhaps you question it