Xenofobia

So it's been a reeeaallllly long time since I've posted some original stuff exclusive to the blog.  Time to rectify that situation. Here's a strange little piece I wrote a couple of years ago and never did anything with. I do have some fondness for this one, though. It's an experiment in telling a story strictly through dialogue, dealing with language barriers and perhaps some racial tension. No horror here (unless you count the Halloween setting), though hopefully there is enough offbeat humor to give you a couple of chuckles.

XENOFOBIA

   

      “Excuse a me...a question. Supposedly, only the gays say 'So long'?”

      “I'm not sure I follow ya, fella. I'm not g--”

     “Oh...no? ¿Solamente en la Navidad?”

     “Whoah, whoah, whoah. Hold your horses, pardner. I don't speak Es-Pan-Yo-Lay. You need-o to hab-lo American-o to me. Understand?”

     “Ah...no! Haha! Problem, my friend! Let me to see...cómo se dice...”

     “...”

     “Oh...hahaha! I see, I see. Lo siento. I looking for Souplantation now. You write down for me?”

     “In all seriousness I really don't get what you're aimin' to express to me. I don't have time to-”

      “More entertainment for you, yes? Oh! Over there...is Gasparin el Fantasma Amistoso!”

     “I don't have any aspirin. DO-YOU-HAVE-A-HEADACHE? Is that why you're actin' more fidgety than the Devil on a layover in the Arctic?”

     “No. He no is un diablo. El payaso está muy triste. ¡Pobresito!”

     “Okay, pal. I realize this is a free country and all, but I'm not going to just waste my time here figurin' out what you're sayin'. I'm tryin' to take my kids Trick-or-Treatin'. Sorry-o. Can't you go back home and ask someone in your own neighborhood?”

     “In my country, the children on the Halloween say 'Tricky Tricky.' Is correct? How you spell in your country?”

     “Look, you're scarin' my kids now. It's spelled L-E-A-V-E-M-E-A-L-O-N-E, poor fay-vor. And take off that mask! It's hideous!”